I fell on the last step of the stairway, it grazed my heart. :(

I'm so sad now!! 

I'm sorry but this is just to rant for my HTMIG thingy so you can always skip it if you don't wish to see me complaining.

Ahhhhhh this is so whatthefreakkmanxzsohmytiannn i don't know whats with me and why i'm so depressed just 'cos I wouldn't get into Htmig ;( 

k for background information, 

HTM is my course and IG is interest group, means like a small council for my course and such and they're recruiting freshmen for htmig... I didn't mind this much at first and initially i thought i didn't even passed the first round and I wasn't even affected, okay maybe i was for 20secs but i recovered way before you can say htmig. At first i went with the mindset of 'if they choose me then good if don't then anyth lor' but today i'm like super nervous and worried that i won't fare well for the interview. And today is considered well, theoretically, the third interview and if we pass the third one we are officially the sub-comms of htmig but i really did very badly for my interview.

I was blabbering shits and craps and when i look at the seniors' faces i can totally see that they're annoyed at my answers. Worst of all, I was the last to be interviewed in like the 'chosen' 50 plus people. They're only accepting 12.  They were like, since you are the last, you should give us something to make an impact on, i don't want to hear any repeated one 'cos we've been hearing the same answers over and over again for the past 50 people and i was like, omg i suay okay i'm the last whatthesheetxzs! 

Overall I know I just couldn't make it and problem is i really don't know why i'm so affected! Actually the experience was extremely traumatic, imagine 14 people sitting in a row in front of you and you are either alone/ with only one more partner and you'll have to answer all their questions shot at you.

And this particular senior was really nice 'cos everyone else was giving the strict face but she sometimes smiled at me which was so comforting, like a lil warm in the freezing atmosphere y'know. And i just texted her to thank her for her smile but after I send out i realised they'd think like i'm just trying to suck up since I didn't do well for the interview. Like pull strings but I swear i wasn't trying to suck up can I really think that she is awfully nice so i just wanted to let her know i appreciate it a lot! She didn't replied omg she must be thinking what a suck up I am! Omg, but she's real nice and all so even if she misunderstand me I'll forgive her hahahah! 

Okay I feel so much better now after letting out all my thoughts.

Blogs do help. Hehehehehe

Thank you baby, thank you Eleanor, thank you Siewting, HweeBeng and thank you blogger, wouldn't have made it past w/o anyone of you. 

ps/ if you've noticed, i changed my word font! How is this font compared to the previous one? :{D